Friday, April 15, 2011

Spam of the Week

We continue our Spam of the Week feature with this gem from "Miss. Julia Tammy." What makes this one interesting is that she appears to be offering herself as a sort of mail-order bride along with promising money. Did I say "interesting"? I meant "disturbing." Oh, and just to make these more interesting to read, I will write comments after each paragraph.

Subject: Thanks and remain blessed, Please reply

Text: Thanks and remain blessed.
From Miss. Julia Tammy
14 bp cocody rue
05 koumassi
Abidjan / Cote D'Ivoire

Dearest friend,

Compliment of the day, I am so glad to write this letter to you. Having obtained your contact from the internet and after reading your profiles that you deserve trust, coupled with my deep interest to invest in your country, I decided to contact you for mutual assistance at all cost.
Compliment of the day! I think they make Page-A-Day calendars for that. It is so good to know that I "deserve trust," although I am worried that this "mutual assistance" comes "at all cost."

I am Miss Julia Tammy the only daughter of Mr and Mrs George Tammy from Ivory-Coast. My father was a highly reputable cocoa merchant who operated in the capital of Ivory coast before his untimely death. It is sad to say that my father was sick mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad in the year 12th.February 2008. Though his sudden sickness was rather suspected to be poison and has been masterminded by an uncle of his who traveled with him at that time. But God knows the truth!
I was not aware that Ivory-Coast was the name of a country. I wonder how long ago "the year 12th.February" is. Hmm...she suspects that her father was poisoned by his uncle. Was the poison poured into his ear, I wonder? God knows the truth! Like: was this idea stolen from Hamlet, or The Lion King?

When my mother died on the 21st October 2006, My father took me so special because I am motherless. Before the death of my father on 6th April 2008 in a private hospital here in Abidjan . He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of $3.500.000 (three million, five hundred thousand dollars) deposited in one of the bank here in Abidjan, that he used my name as the only daughter for his next of kin in deposited of the funds.
Man, nothing tugs at the heartstrings like hearing someone "took me so special." Wait, did her father die in February or April? -Rereads- All right, it sounds like he was poisoned in February but did not die until April. That is one slow-acting poison. Unless the uncle kept poisoning him? He must have bribed the doctors. He named his next of kin "in deposited of the funds"? It sounds like this letter was run through the Babel Fish translator.

He also explained to me that it was because of this money that he was poisoned. He also told me that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money for investment purposes.
Geez, he was poisoned over three and a half million dollars? For a spam scam, that is not much of a fortune. So his dying wish to his daughter was that she should find a business partner in another country. Nice guy. I wonder why so many of these scams specify that they are looking for "God fearing" people to help them with shady business dealings. Do they think it makes them sound more respectable?

I am just 22 years old and a university undergraduate and really don't know what to do. Please, I want an account where I can transfer this funds and after the transaction i will come and live with you as a partner and I'm ready to do anything of your choice. I am all alone right now.
I have actually been collecting these e-mails for a while. When I received this one, I too was a "22 years old university undergraduate." Sorry, I know as little about foreign investment as you do. And here we go: "i will come and live with you as a partner." That is troubling by itself. "I'm ready to do anything of your choice." NO! WRONG! WRONG! You do not promise "anything of your choice" to random strangers on the Internet!

The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life and i wished to invested under your care with your advise. Please, I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.
Well, it is good to know that your father's death "actually brought sorrow." This establishes that you are not a sociopath incapable of emotion. You want suggestions and ideas? Here we go: STOP SOLICITING RANDOM STRANGERS FOR ADVICE AND OFFERING TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT!

Please,Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. Immediately I confirmed your willingness then i will send to you my picture and i will need your own picture as well.
I wonder if this started out as a sex scam and then became a money scam in addition. Especially because pictures are more important than contact information.

Thanks and remain blessed.
Your's Sincerely,
Miss Julia George Tammy

1 comment:

  1. Lost in Translation doesn't work anymore. The babel fish is always "particularly unreliable". Always.